Managing Your Kids School and Your Work: Office Managers Can Handle It All!

By Tory Johnson
CEO of Women For Hire

Every parent who works outside the home knows it's a daily juggle to keep every happy. We worry about our families and our co-workers-hoping everyone is doing just fine.

To minimize unnecessary anxiety for you and your family, keep these simple coping mechanisms in mind. Remember: what works for one family doesn't necessarily translate to success for another. People and households require their own solutions, so try different things until you discover what works best for you.

Share Your Work

Be proud to share your work with your family. After all, work is a big part of what most of us do. Let them know about your tasks and responsibilities, along with your accomplishments. If they're old enough to recognize that you're going off to work, your kids should understand the basics of what you do to put food on the table.

One day my daughter Emma's friend, Juliet, announced that her mom, a partner at a New York law firm, was at a hearing. "I really hope she wins big because she worked so hard preparing until very late at night," she said. The girls dressed up as lawyers and attempted to stage the courtroom scene as they imagined it.

That incident prompted me to create a line of kids' T-shirts supporting working moms. One rhinestone-studded style reads, "My mom works and I'm proud of her."

The other simply says, "My mom brings home the bacon." I've sold hundreds of them.

Through candid conversations, encourage your kids to honor the work you do, just as you celebrate their school work. They should be proud of your professional endeavors and root for you in the workplace.

And it gets the whole family talking – no small thing in this era of too many video games, too many cell phones, too much TV.

Prep Tour Kids Properly

While it's impossible for a 2-year-old to comprehend that Dad has a business dinner tomorrow night, older kids appreciate the head's up. I learned this the hard way. For awhile I thought it best to not alert my 9-year-old twins, Jake and Emma, about upcoming business trips – fearing that the anticipation of my being gone would needlessly make them anxious for days. But the opposite was true: They hated the last-moment nature of my announcements because they were caught off guard.

I realized it was best to offer advance warning when I knew I'd be late or when a business trip was planned. Now we discuss their arrangements during my absence and they're able to adjust easily to the anticipated routine.

Everyone has experienced last-minute requests from the boss or delays with trains or traffic, but kids are especially sensitive to unexpected tardiness. Call home if you know you'll be running late. Explain the hold up and if you feel it's necessary pledge to make up the time in some special way.

Focus on Compromise

While good bosses always try to accommodate parental obligations it's unrealistic to assume that your employer will always bend to your personal needs. Often we have to make choices, some of which may favor family, and others that will support work. If it's just not possible to attend a school function I try other backup options to avoid missing my kids in action.

When my daughter's sing-a-long coincided with a long-planned business trip, a friend suggested that I ask the teacher to allow me to attend a dress rehearsal. I was the only mom to get this sneak peek, and it made Emma and me feel great. My neighbor's son is an aspiring Andre Agassi whose dad had to miss a tennis tournament because of work commitments. Friends filmed it so father and son could watch it while the young athlete offered a play-by-play as he relived each match. The business trip was long forgotten, but the memories of the match lived on. All it takes is a little creativity and planning.

Develop a Strong Support System: Nothing is as comforting as knowing that your children are well cared for in your absence. Determine in advance who'll tend to your kids if unavoidable work commitments keep you late or require you to go in early. Day care, after school programs, baby sitters, family, friends and neighbors may account for your everyday and backup needs. This is one area where it pays to spend as much as you can afford. Sometimes that means giving up meals out, manicures, clothing or other luxuries in order to invest in the best possible care.

Say No

When my kids entered kindergarten, I signed up for all kinds of volunteer duty. Not only was that expected of me at our public school, but I was genuinely excited about being active in the community. But a few months into it, I realized that I had overcommitted myself and felt overwhelmed by all the added responsibilities. Now I choose one volunteer task in the classroom where I'm able to deliver on my promises without getting in over my head.

It's OK to say no – and not essential to join every committee at school. The same holds true at work. Women often have difficulty saying no when it comes to assuming more work and picking up the slack for others. While it's great to pitch in as a team player, don't agree to do more than you can reasonably handle. You can find a way to politely decline. One option: "While I'm normally happy to lend a hand, I am too busy with current workload to assume any new tasks at this time."

Cut Yourself Some Slack

Every working parent struggles with guilt at some point or another because work interferes with family time. Meetings run late, which means a dinner or a bedtime story is missed. Important projects cut into your weekends. Some of this is inevitable, so don't beat up on yourself.

Honoring your professional commitments is nothing to be ashamed of, nor does it make you a bad parent. Take a breather every other week for a mini reality check. Chances are, you'll discover that you're managing to keep many balls in the air, and everyone's doing just fine with your juggling act.

Johnson is the CEO of Women For Hire (www.womenforhire.com).

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