Watching the Summer Olympics might make you feel like an athlete… or it might just make you feel tired. But either way, even if you're not competing in the Olympics in Brazil, you might be unwittingly competing in your own office Olympics every single day. Last week, we took a look at 5 of the most popular "events" in the office Olympics. Let's take a look at 5 more as we cheer on the Olympic athletes competing this summer.
Synchronized Volume Escalation
The event: Managing to both hear and be heard over your loud cubemate who always seems to be on conference calls.
The competitors: You, your cubemate, and everyone in adjacent cubes or offices.
The winner: It's the last man standing—or sitting at their desk—who wins this one. He or she who gives up and goes into a conference room loses.
The loser(s): Everyone around you who's hearing the gradual, maddening increase in volume from all competitors.
Greco-Roman Conference Room Wrestling
The event: Successfully booking a conference room, getting into it on time, and not getting kicked out halfway through a meeting.
The competitors: Every meeting-laden person in the office is jockeying for that last conference room. Good luck—it's a test of endurance and strength, and the odds are against you.
The winner: The team who refuses to back down when both teams have printed reservations proving rightful ownership of the conference room during the specified time slot.
The loser(s): The team who slinks away to have a meeting wedged into a tiny office or gathered around a cube. But take note: the rules for this event provide that a losing team can still perform a reverse lift to take the gold if it's a nice day outside and they find a shady spot to take their meeting.
The event: With your lunch, a beverage, your phone and/or laptop, and any paperwork you brought with you, you must successfully navigate the lunchroom and find a place to sit without dropping a single item.
The competitors: All the hungry employees who take their lunch during the prime time hours of noon until 1 p.m.
The winner: Each competitor who successfully locates, maneuvers to and claims a seat is declared a winner in this daily event.
The loser(s): The janitorial staff who has to clean up the inevitable spills and failures to succeed in this event. Spilled ziti on carpet is an immediate disqualification from daily participation for at least one week.
The event: It's a classic serve, volley, and slam in the office. Participants pass along an email or query to another colleague until the final colleague is forced to respond to the original sender in an overhead slam of a reply.
The competitors: Qualifying for this event only requires a functioning email address; however, be warned that The Delegators in your office have a significant edge in this event.
The winner: The person CCed on the ever-lengthening email chain who contributed least by the time the original issue finally gets resolved.
The loser: The original sender who has to wait for the dust to settle to get an answer to his or her question.
The Security Steeplechase
The event: Finding a way into your building and to your desk on time when you forgot your identification or badge at home.
The competitors: Primarily the habitually absentminded, along with newly minted employees. However, inclement weather often encourages more participation in this event.
The winner: The security guard waiting just inside the doors, arms crossed, watching you try to sneak in.
The loser(s): Competitors who have to pony up the time (and sometimes money) to replace their badges upon permanent loss or misplacement.
Feeling ready to climb on the gold medal podium? Here's hoping at least a few of you can take the gold by scoring a meeting outside in nice weather and taking a relaxing lunch without mishaps. We hope you enjoy the rest of the Summer Olympics! In the meanwhile, happy competing!